And to my peeps who passed away . .
Published April 13th, 2008 in .Plugs
There is something new from Dick Biggman, episode 32 of The Sleazy Adventures of Dick Biggman is up, and Dick tackles sports in this one.
Your are listening too . . .
Ok, I got more Fugees, who I love. If you don’t own The Score, it is a must have album. This one is a cover of the Bob Marley Classic, No Woman No Cry.
Spam
Malach has had a presence on the internet as Malach, Malach the Merciless, or Mr. RubberSuitman for about 6 years, I have had this site for 4. Needless to say I get a lot of spam. Most of it is your typical stuff, but the one of them I got today just blew me away. Here it is:
From: Federal Bureau Of Investigation [robertmueller@fbi.gov]
To:
cc:
Subject: FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (ATM CARD PAYMENT)Anti-Terrorist and Monitory Crimes Division.
Federal Bureau Of Investigation.
J. Edgar. Hoover Building Washington D.C
Attn: Beneficiary,This is to Officially inform you that it has come to our notice and we have thoroughly Investigated by the help of our Intelligence Monitoring Network System that you are having an illegal Transaction with Imposters claiming to be Prof. Charles C. Soludo of the Central Bank Of Nigeria, Mr. Patrick Aziza, Mr Frank Nweke, none officials of Oceanic Bank, none officials of Zenith Bank and imposter claiming to be the Federal Bureau Of Investigation. During our Investigation, it came to our notice that the reason why you have not received your payment is because you have not fulfill your Financial Obligation giving to you in respect of your Contract/Inheritance Payment.
So therefore, we have contacted the Federal Ministry Of Finance on your behalf and they have brought a solution to your problem by arranging your payment in total of US$800,000.00 in an ATM CARD which you will use to withdraw money in anywhere of the world. You now have the lawful right to claim your fund in the ATM CARD.
Since the Federal Bureau of Investigation is involved in this transaction, all you did have to do is to be rest assured for this is 100% risk free because it is our right to protect the American Citizens. All I did want you to do is proceed and contact the ATM CARD CENTER via email for their requirements to proceed and procure your Approval Slip on your behalf which will cost you $150.00 only and note that your Approval Slip contains details of your PERSONAL IDENTIFICATION NUMBER (PIN) which you will use in activating your ATM CARD in any ATM MACHINE.
CONTACT INFORMATION
NAME: MR. PAUL SMITH
EMAIL: paulsmith@atmcardcentre.comDo contact Mr. Paul Smith of the ATM CARD CENTRE with your full name, home address, mobile telephone number, home telephone number or work telephone number and bank name so your files would be updated after which he will send the payment informations to you which you will use in making payment of $150.00 via Western Union Money Transfer or Money Gram for the procurement of your Approval Slip after which the delivery of your ATM CARD will be effected to your designated home address without any further delay.
We order you get back to this office after you open contact with the ATM SWIFT CARD CENTRE and we do await your response so we can move on with our Investigation and make sure your ATM SWIFT CARD gets to you.
Thanks and hope to read from you soon.
FBI Director
Robert Mueller
Note: Do disregard any email you get from any imposter or office claiming to be in possesion of your ATM CARD, you are adviced only to be in contact with Mr. Paul Smith of the ATM CARD CENTRE who is the rightful person you are suppose to deal with in regards your ATM CARD PAYMENT and forward any email you get from imposters to this office so we could act upon and commence investigation.
Wow, The FBI, not just the FBI but it’s director contacted me personally, to tell me to send $150 and tons of personal information to some unknown guy/company and he will send me an ATM card to withdraw $800,000? Wow, what a deal. I am glad the FBI sent me this!
Seriously, the idiot who sent this didn’t even send it via official FBI email graphics. And Robert Mueller himself is so concerned about my fake good luck he sent me a personal email? I did send a email back to Mr. Mueller stating “Down with the FBI! ANARCHY!”. Will be fun if it goes to an actual email in the FBI. I also sent this Paul Smith guy an email, informing him how to run his scam a bit better, and asking how many morons really fall for this crap.
I mean seriously, does anyone fall for this? I mean anyone with a IQ of 90 or over?
My Dining Room Set
My wife and I own a pretty nice dining room set, stupidly bought it before we had kids, it has white upholstered seats, or they used to be white. Finally, I began reupholstering them today, did three of them, there are three left. Was smart and did a dark green that matches the curtain.
Dear Malach
- Kitty writes: Dear Malach, Wiggle, jiggle, yellow in the middle? Yes Dear, that would be Chinese Santa Claus!
- HTGT writes: Dear Malach, Oodle doodle? Ok, what all drugs are you chickies on?
And for Angryman, I added a “mental notes” category . .
The Mood of Red Sox Nation
Red Sox Nation would like to introduce our new Minister of Propoganda and Information, and my new hero, Gino Castignoli. Now, if the Yankess try to charge him with anything, I will personally set up a donation account to get his a lawyer!
Mental Note number 586
Never get within 200 yards of Britney Spears when she is driving, unless your work as a paparazzi photographer.
Malach’s Video of the Day
I am Malach and the FBI is gonna make me rich!
Wow, I thought I was the only one sending money to the FBI. Damn it! Thanks for the help the other day Malach, you rock!
I should make a Kid Intense special about how we can save the planet from oil outage, pollution, even global warming. This will give the world a message. How do you like that?
Those Central Bank of Nigeria people are darned persistent in trying to get their money, aren’t they? x
“Down with the FBI! ANARCHY!”
Haa haa haa!!
That is brilliant.
I wish I had your DIY skills. My house is no longer a sacred spinster’s abode, all white, virginal and chic. There is a cat and a a kid.
*shudder*
I don’t think they got all the stuff this guy buried in the new stadium, given how the Yankees played last night.
If they do charge him w/anything, I would definitely move for a change of venue as an attorney. Either that, or I’d try to get a bunch of Mets fans on the jury. But seriously, I would hope that a judge would just dismiss that charge as being ridiculous. Just b/c you can prosecute doesn’t mean you have to or should prosecute.
Oddly enough (or not- greed is a powerful deterrent to rational thought) the Nigerian scams, and related scams (Russia is a big player in the antique trade) are hugely successful, with hundreds of millions of dollars scammed. And the victims tend to be highly-educated, successful individuals such as lawyers, bankers and business executives. Consequences can be tragic- some people are actually lured over to Nigeria where they are promptly kidnapped and held for ransom. One US businessman actually killed himself after using his companies pension fund (or something like that) as a down-payment in a Nigerian scam.
These scams began before the internet, and were also successful when carried out through the traditional mails. I guess the lure of easy money is just too much for some people. Wikipedia has an interesting and lengthy article on this.
Dear Malach,
Why do I scare you?
Yeah, Robert Mueller has nothing better to do that lead you to this money . .
I send money to the Nigerian emails instead of the FBI emails.
Eve: Anything to bring down the Angry Piper
VM: Kid Intense, solving the world’s problems through a webcomic
Kitty: Yeah, they are using the FBI now
Bridget: Like I told Kitty, You can hire me out.
Angry: Yeah, I would think so, but who knows.
Colonel: I have read the article, but again, the old saying, if it is too good to be true . . .
MI: All women scare me, it’s a problem I have
Dr. John: What are you saying, I am not as important and hidden terrorist cells?
I think my spam filter is set to reject FBI emails. I constantly fear that they’ll send me pictures of J. Edgar in one of his dresses and I’ll have to work extra hard for my next erection.
eheheheheh what a scam lol no respect for autority uhh? lol
Dear Malach,
I am informing you that you have won the annual “Ninja Pirate Fellowship,” in which you would receive $5,000 from the Grand Poohbah Ninja Pirate, Lt. Seamus McFishdumpster, so you can further your ninja pirate studies. All you need to do, is send a cashiers check for 300$ so we can process your claim.
Dear Malach,
You are so popular, wise and beautiful. Is it God’s cruel joke that YOU got all the good genes????
I got what? Insanity and Alcoholism… “FUCK!”
Dear Malach,
Who’s hotter, you or your brother?
Rag: Thanks for the money! Answer your question tonight.
Hungry Mom: I would love to post pics like that!
Toyi: It’s the AMERICAN DREAM!
Teq: REALLY!!!
Murk: I will answer tonight