Uncle Malach, will you tell us a story?
Published May 12th, 2008 in .Plugs
Ben Byrd’s Codex has been updates with part 3, Solace. I haven’t read it yet, but will at work tomorrow.
Also, Malach wrote a review of Iron Man over at The WoW.
You are listening too . . .
A Children’s Story from Slick Rick, I know Dr. Murk will most appreciate this.
Dear Malach
- Angryman writes: Dear Malach, Forever Stamp sounds like a bad tattoo, bad love song, and/or bad rock band all rolled into one. Which one do you think? Bad rock and roll band definitely. If you had a all girl one you could call it Forever Tramp.
- Toyi writes:Dear Malach, so why is it called forever stamp if it’s cost is not forever? I really don’t see the point of it at all. Let me learn you good. The forever stamp. You could buy a million of these today for 42 cents a piece and they won’t ever go up, you just keep putting them on mail until you run out, if stamps go up, forever stamps are still good. Now, for this. DAMN YOU NEW BEDFORD POST OFFICE! I went into the South End PO, right next to work two weeks ago and asked for 100 stamps. Little did I know, they did not give me Forever Stamps. Now, I had to go out today and buy 100 one cent stamps . .bastards, I’m suing.
- Malicious Intent writes: Dear Malach, Couldn’t you have just sent me a box of arsenic laced chocolates instead (of new Kid Intense)? Oh don’t worry darling, those are already in the mail, paid for with 1 cent stamps.
- C. Rag writes: Oh great Malach the Merciless, why do you post the rubbish of Ben Byrd’s work? It makes my eyes bleed. Very good, Malach enjoys bleeding eyes very much. Film that and post it to YouTube.
- Tiff writes: Dear Malach, I’m goign to pursue the ‘big family’ thing for just a sec. You used a picture to point out what you think that having a large family is disgusting, but no words, and so I don’t understand. Is it gross that htey’re boffing all the time and pumping out kids left nad right? Is it thath tey’re utilizing resources that other people could use (air/water/food)? Is it becuase their Quiverfull notion is abhorrent to you? Is it because the younger children probably have no real clue what their parents are like, or that not all people live in a 7000 SF mansion with an industrial kitchen and ONE CLOSET to share? So many questions, Malach, and that one picture doesn’t answer them. I post the the picture because I find it entertaining. I have no problem with big families, my Father and Memere come from one. I just find in this day and age, someone who does that is a little crazy. I am sure, they are devout Christians, and God forces them not to use birth control, but man, how do they survive? I wouldn’t want to see any of their bills, and what the heck does the husband do for a living? He must be crazy. I also look at the John and Kate Plus 8 couple, and at least with them, it was not intentional, and a product of in vitro . . . I myself couldn’t do it. I also wonder why TV wants to follow this family around, but not say one of my clients who has 10 kids and lives in Public Housing.
- Vincent Morris writes: Dear Malach, Well, Kid Intense’s mom is a supermodel, and she is 37 years old. Her name is Lisa Kane. She is a very sexy mom of Kid Intense which is cool. Ever wished you had a supermodel mom like her? I already have a Super Model for a Mom. By the way Vincent, how old is Kid Intense?
KMP Softball Update
So, we are now 6 - 0, and did it the easy way. We were scheduled to play the Misfits today, they weather was pretty awful, about 48 degrees windy, but it did not drizzle like they said it would (It was 70 yesterday). The Misfits, who are a little older, are notorious for cancelling at the slightest chance of rain. So, we all get there, and the sun came out, we begin batting practice and only 3 Misfits are there. By game time, only 6 have shown up. We give then the 15 minutes to get at least another couple players, but no. They had to forfeit. Oh, and I always forget to do this, you can follow our league here.
HEY CHINA
That’s for allthe toy recall and poisonous crap you have stuffed down our throat the past few years. BEHOLD THE POWER OF MALACH! Oh what too soon?
Seriously, this could be a good event for the US and China to work together.
Wow . .
This sounds like my sex life.
Malach’s Video of the Day
I am Malach and seriously, what is wrong with the Japanese?
Well we can send China a few billion in relief aid and the Chinese government can pocket the money and everybody wins. We feel better because we at least tried to help someone. The Chinese govt. feels better because they are a few billion dollars richer. Everybody wins.
Oh, except for the citizens of America who are now a few billion dollars poorer and the citizens of China who are now…well…fucked.
I can’t wait until a turtle tries to have sex w/a rat. Sign me up for the YouTube video of that!
Your review has convince me to go see Iron Man.
ShoeBear is my favorite story.
why sounds like your sex life? did you ever wanted to get a penguin? lol
Since you asked, Kid Intense is 16 years old. He is a very cool teenage superhero. The truth is Lisa had our hero when she was 21 years old after she was married to Kid Intense’s father. Unfortunatly, his father died when Kid Intense was just 10 years old from a plane crash.
I liked Solace . . . I am liking the whole Codex Series.
Mike: Or we go to help, and then . . . TAKE OVER!
Angryman: . . .?
Rag: Wow, I wonder if I can get some royalties
AngryGinger: Wow, Murk will be SO HAPPY
Toyi: No, it is metaphorical
Vincent: OK, that clears a few questions up
Dr. John: Good give me money (I will even send some to Ben Byrd)
Apparently the Chinese believe that a major earthquake is a sign that the government is about to fall. Maybe we should have an earthquake here, say in Texas.
You beat me to my Iron Man review.
The problem is, my boner hasn’t gone down since I saw it and it’s getting in the way of my typing.
I’m renaming him Tony Stark.
“The roughly 240-pound seal subdued the 30-pound adult penguin by lying on it. The hapless bird of unknown sex struggled, rapidly flapping its flippers and attempting to stand and flee, without luck.
The seal then alternated between resting on the penguin and thrusting its pelvis at the bird in vain attempts to insert its penis for 45 minutes. Natural, unsuccessful sexual escapades by this variety of seal with members of its own species may last as long as this penguin assault did, “but yes, it is quite a long time and thus unusual,” de Bruyn told LiveScience.
The seal then abruptly gave up, moving to sea and completely ignoring the target of its affections. The penguin apparently did not suffer any injury.”
I think we have Angryman his first case: that seal needs to be charged with attempted rape. I reckon the penguin could get pretty good compensation.
x
I have always wanted to have sex with a Laughing Gull, but I can’t tell which one is the female unless she’s already under a male who’s flapping his wings and laughing. Would it be gay to have sex with a male Laughing Gull? Or, simply a beastialogist?
Well, thanks for clreaing that whol big family thing up.
Now, about kid intense’s suit of clothing….
Heh.
Oh yes - and because yours is the latest in a long line of only positive things to say about Iron Man, I’m goign to break my “don’t go to the theater” rule to see it. Something tells me it would pale in comparison on the teevee.
I never figured you as a penguin kinda guy. I thought of you as more of a goat or lama guy. Boy did I get that totally wrong.
Colonel: Malach will try that one
Mooog: Cool, lead everyone to mine buddy
Kitty: yeah, I agree
Hungry: Really?
Tiff: Link to my review!
MI: Me, I like birds