Dear Malach

• Choas Dragoon asks: Dear Malach, Have you ever had a reverse boner? Because the picture on WOW just made my penis puncture my spleen.  No, I have not, and would never reach my spleen anyway, you see, I am only 2″ long . . ..  (wait for it) . . . but I am as wide as a Progresso Soup Can.

Sean Avery
So, for those of you who aren’t familiar with this, Sean Avery of the Dallas Stars was suspended 6 games by the NHL.  Not for a cheap hit, taking drugs, or something like that; but for saying that players on the Calgary Flames liked his “sloppy seconds”.  You see, Avery dated Elisha Cuthbert, and now she is dating Dion Phaneuf of the Calgary Flames.

6 games.  And yes, Avery is a character and an asshole, and makes Claude Lemiuex look like Mother Theresa; and yes, he is a locker room cancer, but 6 games?

This is the problem with the modern NHL.  10+ years ago, that would have been taken care of by the Flames themselves, on the ice, and also the Dallas Stars players.  Avery would of been pounded on, and eventually fought by one of their tough guys.  The NHL is sterilizing it’s product.  I mean seriously, who did Avery insult?  A couple of people?  What’s next?  Seriously, can you see this happening in any other sport?

Now there is the whole issue of Dallas being sick of Avery and trying to get out of his contract too . . .

How’s the Weather
So we got our first bit of snow here in Southeastern MA today, only about 1 – 2″, but is was fun to see and easy to shovel, and right now it is cold, about 24 degrees.  Might get some more snow later this week.

Da Price o’ Gas
Yeah, I got gas at a $1.62 a gallon over at BJ’s on Friday.  You know it is really exciting to see $20 get me 12+ gallons as opposed to like 4.5.

What is more shocking is it is only half!
I am 36, I play video games, my brother and wife are 34 and play, all my friends play, my kids play, my mother and father who are in the late 50′s play.  You see, I got my first video games system in the late 70′s early 80′s; Intellivision and the entire family wore that thing out.  My neighbors, one had various Atari systems including the 2600, another had ColecoVision, my Memere and Pepere even had the Odyssey system.  I even had friends with the Commodore 64.  I grew up playing video games, I even remember arcades, back when there was one of them in every mall, in every town.  And we just moved on up after Intellivision, the Orginal Nintendo, the Super Nintendo, the Nintendo 64, The Wii (skipped the Game Cube); Playstation I and II, Sega Genesis, even had a Dreamcast in college, though we spent more time playing DOOM on the PC.

Malach’s Video of the Day

I am Malach and Coach McGurk is my hero.

Dear Malach

• Choas Dragoon asks: Dear Malach, What is favorite fetish pic category?  I have money on mine being much weirder and/or better.  I probably is, Malach isn’t super into fetish type stuff, except maybe Comic Books and Zero Gravity stuff.  BTW, can we expect any more webcomics from your corner of the world?
• Toyi asks: Dear Malach, What the heck are these arguments at Jesus’ tomb? man, is crazy.  It is a case of my Jesus is better than your Jesus.  And he is too, mine has tentacles,

The Man with Snakes is back
Anyone else think he is worried about his job!  QB CONTROVERSY!

Wow.
I suppose this is sort of Ironic . . . last revenge?

Y’know . .
One would think this would be common sense?

Here we go again!
Fighting over Jesus! I wonder if he was trying to make a suit out of those.  (For those of you who did not get that joke, it has to do with Catholicism, the Body of Christ and the Silence of the Lambs . . . yeah, don’t blame me . . here comes anojther one) So, you think they can charge him with theft of dead bodies?

Gasoline
So it was a $1.96 the other day at BJ’s in North Dartmouth.  I was all excited, I refuse to put more that $25 in when I get gas, and I got more than 10 gallons!  AWESOME!  It really makes you wonder though, seriously, gas was almost $4 gallon only 6 months ago, something is wrong there.

NANANANANANANANANA
LAWSUIT!  This is just do freakin’ awesomely hilarious.  Now, why wouldn’t the town of Batman, Turkey sue DC comics for producing almost 60+ years of Batman and owning the copyright?

Malach’s Video of the Day

I am Malach and I am so literal

You are listening too . . .
Rebound from Sebadoah.  Great bunch of guys in Sebadoah, they do a Autism fundraiser every year in Western MA, usually with Sonic Youth, Dinosaur Jr., and other such bands.  I met Lou Barlow (the brains behind Sebadoah, Folk Implosion, and one half of Dinosaur Jr) once, cool guy.  This song them for today will also be explained below.

Yesterday’s blog
So Malach came home from work early, vomiting, diarrehea, fever, aches, etc.  Between trips to the Bathroom, I slept, pretty much from 5:00PM until 7:00AM this morning.  I do recall a couple of things: Watching Barack’s awesome informercial, and watching the 3 inning clinching game of the World Series.  I also recall throwing up numerous times.  So hence no blog.  I felt a bit better this morning, which lead us to this (Rebound) . . .

My Floor.
So, since I took this day off from work to do the floor, even though I wasn’t feeling 100%, I attempted to do the floor.  200 sq. ft. of Laminate.  Wow, laminate is a PAIN IS ASS.  I am about 85% done right now, but the day has caught up to me so I am taking a break.  Did I mention LAMINATE IS A PAIN IN THE ASS?  Dr. Murk, your were right.  I think I would rather lay down a wood floor, carpeting, tile than ever do a laminate floor ever again.  It is not the cutting or the measure or the physicallity (more much sore than the ceramic tile job).  It is the damn laminate planks.  It is like trying to put a puzzle together that you have to bend and twist at the same time to get into place, and it has to be done perfectly.  I will tell you one thing.  When my wife came home, she helped, and man NEVER DO LAMINATE BY YOURSELF.  Not only was it easier to do, we banged out 3 times as much and I did in 3 hours in 1 1/2 with the wife.  Of course the wife had to take the children to their school’s Halloween thing.  I ate dinner, it stayed down, and I am starting to get my second wind (rebound).  Don’t let all these how to install laminate flooring website fool you!  It is looking sweet though.  Yeah, and I forgot the knee pads again, so I went out and bought some.  Oh and if anyone wants to hire me out for this that’s $50 and hour plus expenses, unless it in Mom, Memere, or my Mother In Law, that is free, as long as they buy the product, and feed me.

I probably smell awesome now too, haven’t taken a shower since Tuesday.

Congrats to the Phillies
Hey, they proved me wrong, I though the Rays were gonna walk all over them.  That city needed a Champion too, after so many second bests.  In addition, besides the wife beater Brett Myers, they have a blue collar, hard working, likeable team, just like the Red Sox.

Scary thoughts
So, Greg Oden is out again, after 15 minutes of one game.  If everything went “right” for the Celtics in 2007. they would of had the first pick in the draft, and gotten Oden.  That would of meant no Kevin Garnett, and probably no Ray Allen, and Oden, injured for 99% of his career . .

Barack Obama
I know last night was basically a big informercial, but after watching that, how can you say this guy wouldn’t make a good president?  Compare him to Dubya.  Oh and some of you might enjoy White House Tower Defense.

Hey, all you people losing you jobs . . .
Go beg Exxon for a job.

Daylight Savings
Not only could it mess with your sleep, but I still think it is an energy company conspiracy!

Dr. Who
I did not realize David Tennant was done, too bad he was my favorite Dr. after Tom Baker.

Malach’s Video of the Day

I am Malach and I watched the video, and I didn’t die.  BEHOLD THE POWER OF MALACH!

You are listening too . . .
Superfly – Curtis Mayfield

Update on yesterday’s client
Well unfortunately, the client blew off the rehab I had set up for her, with some lame excuse, so we had to report her to DSS, and now she is being evicted from our program.  Unfortunately, our experience with addicts when they do stuff like this, it is the bottom, we can no longer effectively help them (our program enables them) so we release them to state custody.  Again, it breaks my heart, I really liked this client.

I also have to congratulate my employer for the one year anniversary of St. Anne’s S.R.O.  We took over a large crack house known as “The Mansion” about 2 years ago, in the poorest and highest crime section of New Bedford.  We kicked out the criminal element, put about $500K into the facility to rehab it, and now we have this wonderful 17 client single room occupancy.  Dirt cheap (average rent is $200 a month with utilities, we have a really good crop of clients in the building, and the neighborhood loves us.  NB Police Commander was there along with several city big wigs, and the best thing he said was that now calls at the facility aren’t for overdoses and assaults, only normal stuff.

Dear Malach

• Murky writes: Dear Malach, Yeah, I made the choice to start, but so did Malach. Whycome he isn’t an addict? No one knows.  A big part of it is genetics, another part is personality.  Malach is a type B personality, while Dr. Murk is a type A (but we get along real well still, best friends), while this is just a generic statement, type B’s have less addictive personalities. I come from a family of addicts, some open some not.  I have blood relatives of varying degrees who have had addiction issues with everything from cigarettes to really hardcore drugs (both sides of the family, some have died as a result).  Alcohol at one time was really big in my family, and I can’t deny at one time, that I did not drink quite a bit.  But, of everything I have tried, or imbibed, I have never once felt the physical or mental urge that I had to have that thing.  Now I have never done crack or heroin, and have no plans to ever do it.  I never smoked (Murk still does, both sides of the family had heavy smokers when I was a kid), the one time I tried it I did not like it . . . now don’t get me wrong, I can fake smoke (“I never inhaled”), but I get bored with that really quickly, and haven’t done that in years.  I never even picked up the coffee habit. 

  In college, I drank like I assume your typical college student, to party and get drunk.  I never was a real social drinker; example: go out to the bar, or a resturant and drink, even now, I don’t order alcohol if I go out to eat and never really did.  I college, I would party sometime 4 – 5 nights a week, but I would never just drink in the middle of the day, by myself, or just cause I was legal I only did it among friends.  I have also found I have never needed a substance to be creative, in fact, I find most substances have stifled my creativity. After college, even senior year, I just cut down, lost interest, and over the years, have just about all together stopped. 

  I have told Dr. Murk this:  I can put my mind, imagination, spirit, etc, into a place in my subconcious, that drugs or alcohol never helped me tap into, with only a little concentration.  I do that every night to go to sleep.  I don’t want to say I don’t get addicted, I mean I drink Pepsi almost everyday, and I cruise the internet or play a video game almost everyday, but again, I can go weeks without doing any of those things, and have with no real issue. 

  Now don’t get me wrong, I drink every so often, but it is so rare nowadays, I could probably count on 1 hand the number of times I have drank in the past 3 years. If I do drink, the only reason I would do it nowadays is to get a buzz and only ever at a party.  This is kind of sad to say, I am also pretty sure that if I was home, and someone handed me LSD I would try it, at least one time, but the opportunity has never presented itself. I hope that explains that question at least a little bit without it seeming pretentious.  I mean I am even on the legalizing Marijuana bandwagon, though I don’t think I would partake too often even if it were legal. 

  I supposed I don’t really have a good answer for that.

Vlady!
Good to see you back, now that is some crazy Cold War rhetoric!

Come to Church.
Get Gas.

OK.
Maybe I am addicted to sex, too bad the wife isn’t.

Malach’s Video of the Day

I am Malach and I find it pretty hard to believe DC Comics approved this show.